Today is national cancer day

Today!! A year to the day since I lost my mum to cancer. I was ok, didn’t even think about it, I’m not the kind of person who thinks of things annually…..valentines, birthdays, anniversaries, dates of death etc…..but yesterday my dude reminded me. Why???? And today people are writing on her Facebook wall. Eurgh. She was so loved by many people. I guess its selfish of me to want people to stop shoving it in my face but …….. It still hurts, I’m still grieving. I’ve been so down for months and I’m finally trying to pick myself back up, I’ll never be happy. I feel worthless. Hopeless. I can’t see me finishing this course. I just want to run away…..but I love my boyfriend and cats. If it wasn’t for them I’d be gone!!!!! Dead or destroying myself slowly with recklessness.
Bleurgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I’ve missed work all this week…..because I’m down. What a cliche, what a cunt!!